So I finally got around to watching L - Change the World today. The first thing to know going into this movie is that it’s NOT DEATHNOTE. Notice it doesn’t say ‘DEATHNOTE - L fights crime!’ or ‘L - Deathnote guy does… stuff!’ or even ‘L - eats sweets; FIGHTS EVIL.’ This is an early indicator of something different. So anywho the point of the movie is to cover L’s last 23 days on this rock we call EARTH. Remember they changed the manga ending so that L lives beyond the Kira saga.
The premise of the movie is that there is a group of eco-mentalists who believe that the human race has ruined the earth! BAD HUMANS, put that eco-system back where you found it!
But fear not tree humping greenies for this group has come up with a plan to right the ship. They’ve developed a virus! But its not some run of the mill typhoid. Oh no, we’re talking SCYFY (UGH) saturday nite original virus here. It’s a cross between influenza and ebola! And its fast acting too just like OXICLEAN!
All right so our premise is set. Yeah I know, its doesn’t sound very exciting. And truth be told it all wouldn’t be…save for one thing. Her name in the movie is never even mentioned but according to IMDB it is ‘Hatsune Misawa’…
This is not important though. What is important is that Hatsune cares about the environment. Of course we are not fully aware of how much she cares about protecting the earth… until the main bad guy kills the head of the eco company because he doesn’t have the chutzpah to do whats necessary with the virus. Hatsune, obviously in the throws of earth preserving passion, then goes over and starts curb stomping the dead company guy with her 3 inch heels.
It is at this point I realized this movie was worth watching.
Moving on the eco fiends then proceed to the lab (we’ll call it the good guy shiny lab) because while they developed the virus unfortunately they forgot to make an antidote. And heck, what would the earth do if all the humans died off? Oh sure it would continue to float through space indifferent to the plight of man (wait, wouldn’t it do that anyways?…nevermind.) but if there were no eco-fiends left to protect Earth who’s to stop XENU when he returns and starts the repollution? Surely they must survive (not you though, you’re a polluting TWAT!). This is all good and fine though because when they get to shiny lab Hatsune can resume defending the earth.
Okay so she didn’t exactly say that but I’m sure she would have, if the director had let her. Fast forward about 2 minutes!
Okay so they get to the shiny lab and what happens next is the longest, most overblown death scene I have seen in a long time.
But how does our heroine feel about this? Well have a look!
Okay so moving on the guy who died gave a clue about the antidote to his daughter who then runs off and finds L. The eco-juggernauts then trod off to get her because one of the Juggies is in fact ‘K’! A member of the society of super crime fighters just like ‘L’! Plot, exciting! Off to get the girl at L’s lair then!
So a scuffle ensues. The little girl who is the daughter of way dead science dood injects herself with the virus so she can spread the disease on the evil, er, EARTH DEFENDERS and take revenge! No, I didn’t just make that up. Really, this little girls got spunk!
Okay so L comes out and physically does something saving the little girl and this genius math boy who will eventually help them develop the antidote by doing some math. Whatever. Oh yeah they escape in this vehicle:
All right so they develop an antidote for the virus thanks to a doctor friend of the dead guy from shiny lab and the little girl decides she still wants revenge on the woman who forced her dad to kill himself for ten minutes (so awesome) so she goes after her and attempts to bleed on her again but Hatsune stops Maki (oh yeah, the little girl is named Maki) and she is thus captured. Got all that? GOOD! Fast forward to the end where Maki, Team EARTH is GREAT and L all meet up on a plane. EARTH is GREAT is fleeing the country for the U.S. where they can sell and spread the virus to ensure the earth is saved from the human race of which they are a part (wait, what? 4chon?).
What this really means though is that Hatsune gets to help the team hijack a plane! How does our Hatsune hijack a plane? Why with a shotgun of course!
So before L shows up the planes crew tries some stuff. Y’know like moving and breathing. This proves to be a mistake as Hatsune politely and clearly instructs them to do neither. AND WHAT HATSUNE WANTS SHE GETS.
All righty so then L shows up. It’s actually pretty dramatic as the Crepe truck has to chase down the moving plane. L ends up climbing up one of those motorized plane boarding stairways and jumping on to the moving plane. However, once again, this is a mistake as HATSUNE clearly stated THERE WAS TO BE NO MOVING ON HER PLANE.
Okay so then theres some talking. AGAIN. MISTAKE. Hatsune is obviously a woman of ACTION. So when even her own team starts lagging she decides its time to CRANK THINGS UP ANOTHER NOTCH AND START STABBING BABIES.
It is at this point the movie takes a horrible turn. Hatsune passes out from the virus and no longer is able to defend the planet :(. It is a sad day not just for me but the earth as a whole. Anywho L saves the day and there is a brief moment of glory at the end as we see Hatsune being taken off to jail or something. Thank goodness shes okay.
Then L goes off and has 2 days to live. He drops the boy off somewhere and names him ‘Near’. The little girl Maki lives and I think L might die at the end after the credits. They don’t really tell you.
And so concludes the KL edition of L - Change the World. I give it 5/5 Hatsunes for having Hatsune in it. Every other movie ever gets 0/5 for not having Hatsune. Except Punisher: War Zone. That ones got a little Hatsune in it.
Peace out YO!